Korone (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} evadreams) wrote,@ 2008-03-05 13:33:00 |
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| Current mood: |  excited |
| Entry tags: | lumi, photostory, ryan |
+I miss you+
Sounds of the city. People walking by, talking, kids getting off from school. Someone yelled on the background. It was morelikely a scream of joy. Cars are passing by, and the trafic starts to jam at this hour. And I'm just standing here, on my appartment's balcony, doing absolutely nothing but listening those sounds and how the snow crunches under my shoes.
I wonder...what are you doing right now?
Youre propably sleeping. Or then you just woke up and went to work. I keep on wondering what you might do at this hour. I keep on standing on the balcony, staring at absolutely nothing and picturing your face right before my halfblind eyes. It's the image you have given me of yourself. The face I have touched many times. The colour of your hair what I can barely filter and give my imagination to do the rest.
I need to hear your voice again....
" It's raining here. Again! And it's freaking cold. It's been like this for three days already"
I hear your voice saying trough the speaker. You're working, but it's great that you're still able to talk to me.
I reply you back typing it down, and telling you about this new appartment I just moved onto. I've get to know more people who are in the same building.
" Oh? Now that's great! Good to hear that you have made friends! I was worried that would you be alone there again."
You laugh a bit, and I can picture it in my mind, that little smile on the other side of your lip. I hold still and stop typing what I just started. I erase it and start a new sentence.
" Hey....I miss you."
I wrote it down after a long pause. I didn't know why it took me so long to tell it to you.
You also were silent for a moment. I hear it how the papers you were reading trough on your office stops rustling. I become a bit nervous, and all I can do is wait for your reply and move my hair back. That's all I could do.
"...Really?"
You ask, and I hear you doing something again.
This propably wasn't the best time to talk about this, but I felt like saying it.
" Yeah."
I reply.
" Don't worry about it. We'll see again soon."
"How soon?" I ask impatiently.
You laugh a bit.
" Soon enough. And we'll get to be longer together. Don't you worry a thing, I have it all planned down."
It makes me smile. Not just the promise you made to me, but my imagination what runs off again wildly.
But then you got a little bit serious, and you lower your voice down a bit just to say:
" I miss you too, Lumiére."
He told me after a short while, that he had to continue working. Ofcourse it made me feel dissapointed as always to stop it more sooner than what I expected, but I understood him perfectly. He had a job, and he wanted to hold onto that and not get kicked out because he was chatting with me. I was selfish thinking that he had time for me whenever I wanted to, and I knew that I had to fix that in myself.
It was not like I didn't want to work, but at my state I couldn't do it. It was one of those things I envied in people, I envied in him.
And here it comes again. I feel it in my chest how it beats like a heavy iron drum and smashes my organs.
It's almost hard to breath and I need to check up my hands and see with this fucking miserable eyesight if they're shaking.
But ofcourse, I don't see it, I just feel it.
It's better just to give up, and calm down.
I know I need to be patience and wait that day when we meet again. You said that 'soon', and I believe you. But I can't help my feelins, not like how they are. It's always such a relief to talk to you, but in the end it hurts.
Ryan, I love you so much.
So yeah, this was propably really confusing to some people, but I'll explain it here. Cx
We've been planning withbombaygin that our boys would have some sort of relationship.
We haven't planned it out well yet, and Kym still haven't got her doll, but haha, what are you going to do about your own hyper excitement? :'D
And those who didn't know, Lumi(ére) is mute and halfblind. They are usually communicating trough internet ( Skype? Haha, propably! ) where Ryan is talking and Lumi types. C:
This is about the time they have get to know eatchothers already, and they are having longterm relationship because Ryan is working in his hometown, and Lumi lives here. And neither of them has enough money to move together in the same place. So..longterm relationship hooray! \o/ *pets poor Lumi*
Yeah...Lumi migh sound a bit too addicted here to Ryan x3; But he really is missing him like hell. D: Öy the heartpain! D8
Sorry Kym if I made your boy out of character ;___; I know I should've waited with this but I was too impatience! Dx *stuff's her head somewhere*
We've been planning with
bombaygin that our boys would have some sort of relationship.We haven't planned it out well yet, and Kym still haven't got her doll, but haha, what are you going to do about your own hyper excitement? :'D
And those who didn't know, Lumi(ére) is mute and halfblind. They are usually communicating trough internet ( Skype? Haha, propably! ) where Ryan is talking and Lumi types. C:
This is about the time they have get to know eatchothers already, and they are having longterm relationship because Ryan is working in his hometown, and Lumi lives here. And neither of them has enough money to move together in the same place. So..longterm relationship hooray! \o/ *pets poor Lumi*
Yeah...Lumi migh sound a bit too addicted here to Ryan x3; But he really is missing him like hell. D: Öy the heartpain! D8
Sorry Kym if I made your boy out of character ;___; I know I should've waited with this but I was too impatience! Dx *stuff's her head somewhere*
